just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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