He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
