well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
