you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
