At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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