I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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