The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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