you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
