Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
