Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
