I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
