As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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