College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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