I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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