My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
