maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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