I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
