He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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