A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
