I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
