It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
