you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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