Define "chronic" masturbator.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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