Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
