why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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