$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.