Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.