I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize