Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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