well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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