I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
