If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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