**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
