you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
