Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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