I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
