I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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