I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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