god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
