I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
