they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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