What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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