im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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