i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
