I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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