butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
