dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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