Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
