His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
