i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
