do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
And then my night got REAL pukey
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
