Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize