you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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