Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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