where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Come share oat with me in your robe
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize