I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
