youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
