you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
