I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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