She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
