How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
