U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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