I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
