ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
i think i just lost a toe
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
