He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
