Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
