No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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