i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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