i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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