are you still at the devil's house?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
