She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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