I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
